


It Was Always You

by carry_on_my_wayward_butt



Series: Only the Beginning [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Marriage, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, danisnotonfire - Freeform, go read the prequel, hmm what else, im just lazy, oh yeah sorry this is late, um sry i suck at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3709315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carry_on_my_wayward_butt/pseuds/carry_on_my_wayward_butt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Phan marriage. There's a prequel, but it's not necessary to read it as you'll still probably understand everything from here without doing so. So yeah, Dan and Phil getting married in Jamaica with Zoe and Cat and Louise as bridesmaids (groomsmaids?) and PJ and Chris and Alfie as best men and you know the deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Was Always You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, hi, sorry I didn't put this up sooner. Sadly, I have no excuse except that I'm chronically lazy. nO WAIT HOLD UP actually I do have an excuse--I had a nice almost-finished draft of this in February but AO3 glitched and deleted it and I didn't have a backup copy so yeah. Technically still my fault, I guess, but what do you do? Okay so um if you haven't read Stealing My Thunder, it's kind of the prequel to this, with proposals and coming out and such, but it doesn't really have anything you absolutely must know to understand this story so you don't really have to read it. Ummm what else. I think that's it? Enjoy, and I apologize in advance for being a shit writer.

Dan doesn't think it's possible to be any more nervous than he is right now.

It isn't like he's got no reason to be, either. You'd probably be panicking too, if you were getting married to the longtime love of your life in a mere seventeen minutes and twenty-three seconds. God, he's glad he's not generally a sweaty person, because between the thirty-degree weather (which they really should have expected, given that it's Jamaica, mid-August) and his worryingly overactive nerves, he'd be totally soaked by now. He's also eternally grateful to Zoe and Louise for helping him pick out a good thin fabric for his black dress shirt and pants, as he was dead set on the colour, but had the material been the thicker kind usually used on dress clothes he'd be sweltering. Thankfully, although the heat is very much present, the sun is more or less hidden behind clouds, so no direct sunlight frying him for now. But regardless of the lack of physical discomfort, his mind is racing at a very uncomfortable pace. There's the endless chorus of  _nonononono_ repeating over and over in his head as it always does when he's on the bridge of one of his semi-rare anxiety attacks. Dan slumps in the little white foldout beach chair set up in the corner of the little cabana Cat directed him to get ready for the ceremony in. He wonders vaguely if having someone in here with him would help calm him down. But no, he can't have anyone seeing how worried and anxious he is on what's supposed to be the best day of his life. That would make people question his affection for Phil, and then that would get back to Phil himself, and since the poor bloke has a void where his self-confidence should be he'd start doubting himself, and then their relationship would get strained and wrecked and Dan can't handle the concept of such things, let alone it actually happening.

_Fifteen minutes left._

The wedding starts at three, and the time on his phone reads 2:45. Exactly fifteen minutes until Dan makes the biggest commitment of his life. Fifteen minutes until he gets to walk up to that altar. Fifteen minutes to calm down.  _Happy thoughts, Dan. Happy thoughts._ Just as a quick distraction, Dan starts listing off everyone who's coming in his head: Tyler and Troye, together, obviously, and Jim and Tanya, and his parents and his brother, and Phil's parents and a load of others. And Phil, of course. Zoe and Cat and Louise are his bridesmaids--'groomsmaids', Dan insists on calling them, as "Just because I bottom doesn't mean I'm the bride, Phil." Phil still insists on calling them their traditional name, and implying they're Dan's because he's apparently the chick in this relationship. Dan smiles just thinking about it, shaking his head a little. It's simple things like that that make him remember just why he fell in love with Phil in the first place; how he jokes around about those kinds of things without ever hurting feelings, how he's always been so gentle with Dan in everything from teasing to more intimate things. It's the little things like that that make Dan stay so deep in love. And that's why he can't worry about this, because if he chickens out he'll regret it for the rest of his life. Phil completes him, is his other half, his better half. Phil always knows exactly what to say to make Dan smile, to pull him out of his depressions and existential crises. And Dan loves him for it so much.

_Twelve minutes._

Dan knows he has to keep himself distracted or else he'll start freaking out again, so he tries to remember what everyone's outfits are. Phil, being his cheesy old-fashioned self, refused to let Dan see his clothes for the ceremony since "it would wreck the surprise", but it's probably some kind of vibrantly coloured dress shirt and as skinny dress pants as Phil could find. Phil hates loose dress pants, thinks they look sloppy and uncoordinated, which is kind of true, to be honest. Zoe, Louise, and Cat have matching dresses; strapless ones with sweetheart necklines and flared knee-length skirts, with little silk sashes in the middle and white polka dots over the bodice. They each got a different colour; Zoe's pale pink, Cat's faded purple, and Louise's mint green. The dresses are majorly cute, and when he and Phil accompanied the girls to buy them he jokingly informed them that he might go straight for them if they wore them on a regular basis. It had been pretty funny until he looked over and saw the murder in Phil's eyes. All's well that ends well, though, as he ended up just being ignored for a few hours and then getting angry makeup sex later. Good times, good times. By Phil's suggestion, the three best men--Alfie, PJ, and Chris--got dress shirts in the same colour their partner for the aisle's dress was. Alfie was none too pleased at the discovery he was going to have to wear a pink shirt for an extended period of time. Zoe had just laughed and teased him about it for a few weeks.

_Ten minutes._

2:50. Only ten minutes left. Dan can feel his chest getting tighter, so he frantically searches his own head for some kind of calm-inducing tactic. Then he remembers what he did right before he proposed to Phil to calm his buzzing nerves: he remembered. He had called back every good memory of himself and Phil together, from their first Skype session to their first time meeting in person to their first kiss (the latter two were incidentally on the same day) to their first video together. Their first real date at a little restaurant in Manchester, when Phil had started to try and play footsie and Dan freaked out and spilled his bubble tea everywhere. Their first time fooling around, which was about as spontaneous (and short-lived since Dan was a virgin and painfully turned on) as you could imagine--literally, they had been playing Sonic at Phil's and then Dan happened to reach over to smack him but instead somehow ended up with a hand on his boyfriend's crotch, and then they were naked and Phil was on his knees and  _hotwetmouthshit_. Their first time actually doing it, the 'it it', as Dan had bashfully referred to it when trying to bring it up to Phil, when Phil had been insistent on going incredibly slow even when Dan insisted he was fine and ready, to the point where Dan ended up getting impatient and flipping them over so he was the one in control, thus beginning his power-bottom status. Telling his parents about them, who immediately proceeded to interrogate Phil on his sexual history. Telling Phil's parents, who immediately proceeded to congratulate them and ask who topped. Talking about getting married for the first time, when they were twenty-one and twenty-five, Phil being the one to bring the subject up but Dan being the one to ask outright if he thought they'd get married someday. Talking about having kids for the first time, watching Phil's big blue eyes light up as he rambled about how he thought having a little baby Phan child running around the house and crawling into bed with them in the morning, Dan reminding him that a) it could only be partly one of them since guy+guy does not equal kid ("Thank god for that, otherwise you would have gotten me knocked up when I was nineteen") and b) if said kid happened to crawl into bed with them after they'd had a funny night, said kid may be scarred for life and may have to get 'the talk' at a very early age. Phil hadn't backed down, though, making all kinds of arguments about how "science has come so far, who's to say they can't mix both of our genetics for a surrogate mother?" It was pretty cute seeing him so passionate about it. And, Dan realizes, since they're getting married today, having kids is technically the next step. Or at least, joking about having kids with semi-serious undertones. And he's not exactly against that.

_Five minutes._

"Dan?" It's Cat, poking her head through the cabana's curtains, all dressed up with curly hair hanging in tendrils from her bun. She looks lovely. "T minus five minutes, bud. You've gotta come out so we can line up by the aisle. Phil's already at the altar--I think he thinks you're going to leave him there or something." Dan exhales a little shakily, smiling nervously and standing up to meet her. 

"Yeah, okay. Let's go." His voice comes out surprisingly steadily considering the circumstances. Cat grins at him in reassurance and grabs his hand, and then they're there all of a sudden, lined up in the little area behind the aisle, covered by a few rows of cabanas from the wedding guests' view. From Phil's view. Cat and PJ are at the front of the line, although Dan can't seem to recall letting go of her hand, followed by Louise and Chris,  and then, right in front of him, Alfie and Zoe, leaning gently on eachother with arms linked. It'll be their turn soon enough--Alfie proposed on Zoe's birthday in March, and their wedding is set for December. A winter wonderland wedding, if you'll pardon the alliteration. I can hear the gentle piano music start to play and wait, what, no, it can't already be time, can it? But no, someone beckons to Cat and PJ and they start forward, walking gracefully and slowly, like they're purposely trying to give him  extra time to compose himself. He makes the decision to use the time as wisely as he can, checking that his grey bowtie is in place, as are his earrings, and that his fringe isn't too crooked or too shaggy. Alfie must notice his struggle, because he leans back a bit and whispers, "Don't worry, mate, you haven't got a fringe dick," in referral to the video he did with Dan and Phil last year. It works a but on Dan's stress, and he gives a weak smile to Alfie before Zoe shushes her boyfriend and nudges him forward. They're gone. It's Dan's turn. This is it, this is his wedding. The only one he'll ever have, to the only man he'll ever love. One of the photographers gestures that it's his time to move, and Dan finds his feet carrying him forward smoothly. Once he's past the layer of cabanas, he can see everyone--his family and Phil's at the front, their YouTube friends in the second few rows, their non-internet friends and non-immediate family in every row behind. And there's Phil at the very front, wearing a bright blue dress top as predicted, and looking right at Dan. He looks the same mixture of lovesick and terrified that Dan feels, and Dan offers him a shy reassuring smile that's graciously returned. Dan's so caught up in staring at Phil that he doesn't realize until he's halfway down the aisle that it's the bride who walks down the aisle, and wow, he really is the girl in this relationship, isn't he?

He slows down noticeably on the last few steps to the front, mostly because he just wants to take it all in and keep everything engraved in his mind's eye, and also just to tease Phil a little. Dan's nerves calmed down practically the second he met Phil's eyes, and all he can feel now is giddiness and love. A very good mesh of emotion. Phil glares him down, having recognized his teasing, until he gets to the very front of the sandy area, some fifty feet from the beachfront. The groomsmen and brides(grooms)maids are standing to their left in a row, each one linked to their partner. Dan stands opposite Phil and smiles at him, reaching out to grab his hand. Before the priest starts talking, he whispers, "Hi," just to break the silence. The first few rows who could hear it titter good-naturedly. Phil rolls his eyes and grins from ear to ear. And then the priest speaks up, with a few altercations to his speech suggested by Dan.

"Queerly beloved, we are gathered here togay to join these two young men in gayriage." He continues flatly, ignoring the bursts of genuine laughter from everyone, Troyler and Zalfie specifically. The whole repeat-after-me part is over quickly and Dan hears himself say shyly, "I do," and Phil following suit, and then he's carefully slipping the white-gold band onto Phil's ring finger and Phil does the same to his and then it happens.

"I now pronounce you, um." The priest pauses for a second, obviously not having thought his wording through very carefully. "Husband and husband. Er, you may now kiss the groom." Phil reaches up to cup the back of Dan's neck and pulls him in gently before pressing their lips together, and Dan swears the can feel the sparks. There's a second of just kissing before he feels Phil's other hand on his back and then he's dipped down in Phil's arms, still kissing him, and everyone cheers. After a minute of bliss they pull away, and Phil's eyes are right up close to Dan's own, soft and blue and sparkling with delight.

"You'd better be sure you'll keep loving me," Phil teases, "because you aren't getting out of this one." Dan shakes his head slowly, reaching up to brush a stray strand of dark hair from his  _husband's_ eyes and touching their noses together briefly.

"I'm not going to stop loving you any time soon," he assures Phil lightly. "I've never loved anyone but you and I never will. Don't you know, Phil? It was always you."

**Author's Note:**

> wuhOW that got long. What should be next in the series? I was thinking honeymoon smut, cause mama's thirsty. Opinions, anyone? Also, in case you were wondering, I didn't spell 'crisis' wrong. As it turns out, 'crises' is actually its plural. the more you know. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!


End file.
